


Worship the Trousers That Cling to Him

by wildestranger



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestranger/pseuds/wildestranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Jack asks, Ianto pushes him away and says no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worship the Trousers That Cling to Him

The first time Jack asks, Ianto pushes him away and says _no._ Or rather, Jack doesn't ask, Jack_ assumes_, Jack crowds Ianto against a filing cabinet in the third level and licks his throat. That's the point, really. Ianto feels he should be asked. Even if the answer will always (must always) be _no_. It should not be taken for granted.

For his second attempt, Jack has learned a few stealthy moves. He doesn't wait until everyone else is gone home (Ianto makes a point of giving Tosh a lift every night), or invite Ianto to his office for a private conference (Ianto keeps a remote-controlled pterodactyl teaser in his pocket at all times, in case of difficult situations). Jack is not good at subtle, but casual everyone will believe of him, and it's easy for him to walk up the few steps to Ianto's coffee station and lean to whisper something to his ear, which to innocently eavesdropping co-workers will look like mild coffee-related innuendo. Even if what he says is this:

"You want to let me in on what's the problem?"

Ianto loves it when people try to be passive-aggressive with him. It always goes so beautifully wrong. And he always wins.

Ianto puts on a look of calm attentiveness.

"Sir?"

There's a warm hand on his shoulder, ostensibly supporting Jack's balance as he leans closer. Ianto allows it to stay as long as it doesn't move.

"You're hiding from me, Ianto. I thought we'd agreed you wouldn't do that anymore."

Not bad, Ianto reflects. But really, not that good either. He smirks a little, and watches Jack begin to frown.

"Sir. I appreciate that a certain level of transparency is desirable, essential, even, considering the work we do. Consequently, I have forwarded you a copy of all my day-to-day activities, and how they relate to our current objectives, as well as the new directives sent down from London."

The slightly glazed look on Jack's face suggests that he has never come across a low-level employee in a bureaucratic establishment. Ianto continues to stare earnestly up at him until Jack shakes his head, and turns to glare at him.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Ianto likes to finish with a beatific smile. It unnerves people so.

"If you are dissatisfied with my performance, I'd be happy to receive further instructions from you. Should we involve the union representative?"

The union representative is Owen. The last time he was called upon to act in his role Gwen ended up setting fire to him. Ianto can see that Jack remembers from the way he twitches.

"No, that won't be necessary."

"Very good, sir."

Ianto turns to go, and pretends not to hear when Jack calls after him.

"This isn't finished, Ianto Jones!"

_Oh no_, Ianto thinks. _The fun is just starting._

: :

It's not that Ianto wants to torment Jack. Okay, yes, he does want to torment Jack, he thinks Jack deserves all the torment Ianto can muster. He's had new trousers tailored especially for the purpose of tormenting Jack. However, he doesn't want to look like that's what he's up to. Gwen and Tosh gossip about him enough as it is, and even Owen has started to comment on his arse-cheeks. Sometimes with his hands. Owen is expressive that way.

But above all, Ianto doesn't want Jack to think that he's making an effort to torment him. That would give Jack far too much importance.

Consequently, Ianto limits himself to bending over in the direction of Jack's office only twice a day. Once in the morning, when he accidentally brushes a few grains of coffee to the floor and has to clean them up. And once in the afternoon, when Owen's continuous poking of Tosh ends with him getting smacked, and somebody's bag or mug or papers falling down, which Ianto then picks up and dusts off while giving them all a disapproving glare. Fortunately, his co-workers are very dependable when it comes to this.

Ianto likes the routine.

: :

The seventh time Jack asks, there is an actual alien invasion. Not that Ianto would put it past Jack to engineer an alien invasion if it suited his purposes, but for this one the blame can be placed squarely on Gwen's shoulders.

A creature had been discovered in the sea off the coast of Cardigan Bay. Jack said he couldn't recognise it at first, so they brought it back to the Hub to keep it contained while they (Ianto, and eventually Jack) went through the archives.

The problem is that the creature looks like a care-bear. It's fluffy and purple-coloured, and has big sad blue eyes. It seems to be crying, although Ianto rather thinks that the liquid running along its face and body is seawater. From where it had been in the sea. Gwen tells him to hush, and goes back to staring soulfully at the creature.

It is the first time in the history of Torchwood when the cause of alien threat is "trying to make an alien talk about its feelings".

Owen later says that if Gwen tries it on him one more time, he'll go and explode too. There are bets as to whether Owen-goo will be of a similar salmon-shaded pink. Or end up containing millions of tiny sharp-toothed maggots.

Still, it gives Ianto a good excuse to extricate himself from between Jack and filing cabinet F: Far to Fob. He also makes sure that Jack fills out all the necessary forms in triplicate, and slips in a Sexual Harassment In The Workplace-leaflet just for fun.

The leaflet finds its way to his desk the next day, covered in naughty doodles. Ianto sighs and passes it on to Owen, who spends the next three days tormenting Tosh with it.

: :

The eleventh time Jack slips an aphrodisiac into his coffee. Ianto locks himself in the safety cage that they've been provided with for Compromised Employee situations (Well, the cage has. Ianto suspects that the see-through material is Jack's doing), gives Tosh the keys, and proceeds to rub himself off against the glass. When he wakes up four hours later, he is wearing only one sock, his tie, and half a sleeve of his shirt. He is also sticky and feeling muscle strain in some unusual places, but Tosh, who comes to unlock the cage and stares resolutely at the wall behind Ianto as she offers him one of Jack's bathrobes, assures him that no one has entered the cage while he was under the influence. She also tells him that Gwen and Owen had disappeared fifteen minutes into the show, and that Jack has been drinking steadily in his office for the past hour. Then she bites her lip and runs away herself.

As Ianto walks across the Hub on his way out, he notes that the windows in Jack's office are steamed. He pauses to push the appropriate form (Using Mind-Altering Drugs on Torchwood Employees; A3) under the door.

: :

The twenty-third time occurs when they are sitting in the SUV, waiting for Owen and Gwen to come back with a Weevil. Ianto appreciates the false sense of security Jack has managed to construct for him; the limited amount of time before they are interrupted, the seatbelts constricting their movements, and the seriousness with which Jack takes alien threats all contribute to make Ianto feel safe from sudden groping. But it also forces him to actually listen to Jack, which Ianto prefers not to do these days.

"You know, you never did tell me why you don't want to sleep with me anymore."

It has the benefit of being direct, and going well with Jack's saddened face. Fortunately, Ianto has developed an immunity for both those things.

"You never asked. You just pushed your hand into my trousers and licked my ear."

Jack chuckles, then looks at Ianto through his lashes and wets his lips. Ianto is immune. He has the nail-marks on his palms to prove it.

"I'm asking now."

It's not that Ianto doesn't have a good reason - he has many good reasons, and long lists with coherent arguments and rational explanations. He's just not sure he can speak those out loud without sounding pathetic and in love.

"You left without saying anything, without telling us where you were going or why. That tells us how much we mean to you, and how much you care about the fact that we might worry. It also told me what I should expect if I continued to sleep with you. I decided that such an arrangement would be unsatisfactory in the future."

Ianto looks away (he had to look Jack in the eye as he said it, but he is fiercely glad that he can look away now) and Jack is quiet. By the time he opens his mouth to speak (Ianto can hear the parting of lips, the preparing exhalation), Owen is knocking on the window and bitching about the blood on his new jacket.

Jack doesn't speak again until they get back to the Hub, at which point he grabs Ianto by the sleeve and marches him up to his office. Ianto follows without resistance - his suit has just been taken in and he doesn't want to go back to the tailors the very next day. They still laugh at him for doing that twice a week before Jack's disappearance.

Once he is in the office, though, Ianto extricates himself from Jack's grip and moves to sit, uninvited, on the sofa. He makes a point of crossing his legs primly before looking up.  
Jack is smiling at him, leaning against his desk, his hands in his pockets. Ianto decides he has never looked, or been, more dangerous.

"I don't suppose there are any promises I could make that would make you change your mind."

It's not spoken as a question but Ianto answers anyway. He knows the answer to this one. "No."

"What can I do, then?"

Jack's tone is intentionally light, with almost no intonation, and convincingly sincere. Fortunately, this is the question Ianto has practised for most.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

_Keep trying_, Ianto thinks. Then Jack starts to grin, and Ianto narrows his eyes.

"You're wearing the necklace, aren't you?"

Jack continues to smile and pulls out the chain from under his shirt. Ianto takes a deep breath and tries to remember his Welsh.

"So, time, then, and my continued devotion would prove my intentions?"

"No."

Ianto is very careful to think about nothing except Jack's collar.

"Yes."

"No."

Jack's smile turns honest and Ianto stands up, steps back.

"I can see that you're going to need some time. But I won't give up on this. And I won't give up on you, no matter how easily you might do the same for me."

_Passive-aggressive bastard_, Ianto thinks in Welsh, and walks away quickly.

: :

The next day Ianto finds a shiny new espresso-machine in the coffee station. It has a big red bow on it and a card that says "For Ianto! Others, do not touch!" Naturally, it has also been covered in fingerprints by other members of the team, whose usual response to something shiny and forbidden is to fondle it a lot.

Ianto cleans up the machine and tells the others that if they touch it again, there will be no more coffee for them. Then he walks up the steps to Jack's office, his face carefully blank, and places a steaming americano on Jack's desk. Jack doesn't look up from his papers, but he's smiling as he says: "You know, that's just the first of my courtship presents."

Ianto doesn't want to think about Jack courting him. He doesn't want to think about it so much that he ends up bumping against the door as he walks out. It's undignified, and the fact that Jack is trying to not laugh behind him doesn't make it any better.

Ianto considers pushing the new espresso machine to the floor as a sign of his annoyance, but decides against it in the end; regardless of the dubious morals of its giver, it's still a Machine For Coffee. And it's shiny.

He needs a new plan, though.

: :

Placing reminders of the Inter-Office Sexual Relations Policy around the Hub results in Tosh running to cry in the bathroom and Owen bitching for two hours about some girl in his previous workplace who had it in for him. When Gwen brings Ianto a cup of tea and asks if anything's wrong, and if he'd like to talk about it, Ianto takes the posters down. And replaces them with the one Owen made last month, about the latest policy that states you must never ask anyone about their feelings, ever.

Gwen sulks, and Ianto enjoys putting too much sugar into her coffee.

: :

Jack takes to bringing Ianto gifts, small things, but clearly something Jack's spent some time thinking about. Ianto takes to passing them on to Gwen, who coos and starts wearing even more low-cut shirts around him. Ianto hastily refrains from giving Gwen so much as a lump of sugar.

: :

He realises one morning that it's been two months since Jack last tried to touch him. He hasn't missed it, hasn't really thought about being touched by anyone in so long, but now with Jack flashing him honest smiles every day and reminding him that he is being courted, that he is the focus of Jack's attention, it's getting difficult. Ianto spends the rest of the day trying desperately not to remember the feel of Jack's mouth on his collarbone and Jack's fingers on his hips.

Owen tells him to stop blushing like a girl every time Jack walks by. This doesn't help, although it distracts Ianto enough for him to pour cold water on Owen's trousers. But after Owen has skulked off to the bathroom, still muttering curses at him, Ianto notices Jack standing above them. He is grinning with all his teeth.

"The colour suits you."

Ianto's resultant scowl only makes Jack laugh.

: :

He's finally had enough when Jack starts brushing his hand against Ianto's at all possible times - nothing else, just his hand, just the slide of a calloused thumb against his wrist or a finger tracing his palm. He knows Jack is doing it to tease him, to make him want more, but knowing that doesn't make it any less effective. He wants more of those hands, wants them on his skin, pushing him against a wall, stroking him, sliding inside him. It doesn't have to be what it used be, Ianto decides. It can be something else, something Ianto can live with.

Like casual sex with his boss, without any emotional involvement.

Jack is quiet for a long time when Ianto tells him this. The smile that follows isn't honest, but Ianto nevertheless allows himself to be led to Jack's room, to Jack's bed. And Jack's hands on him have never been insincere.

: :

The next day Ianto wakes to find Jack's face above him, smiling and far too close. He wishes he could make a dignified retreat but his clothes seem to have disappeared. Also, he doesn't think Jack would let him - either dignity or retreat.

Jack's grin widens when he realises Ianto is awake.

"You know, if we didn't have that new policy about never talking about your feelings, I'd say something now. You might even believe me."

"Would not."

Okay, that came out a bit more forcefully (not to mention a bit more like a five-year-old) than Ianto would prefer, but the sentiment, as it were, is true. Jack, however, doesn't seem convinced as he smiles even more and kisses Ianto's cheek.

"Would too. And I'm choosing to read your silence on the same matter as a sign of your keen adherence to office policy."

"But…"

Jack smirks and bends his head to lick Ianto's arm.

"No need to say a word. I know just what you mean."


End file.
